Okay, this may sound stupid, but anyone in a Military relationship might find my little lesson helpful…
My Love recently asked me if I wanted to Skype, I responded with, “Sure ha”. (As in “Yeah, Sure, of course I do!”) However, he mistook that as me not wanting to. I then asked him, “Why wouldn’t I want to?” and his response was, “That’s what “Sure” sounds like.” He went on to explain that “Sure is not a purely positive response”. At which point, I could tell that he was completely over thinking this and we could be Skyping already! He continued to explain that, “[In the Navy] We get yelled at if we respond with “Sure””. So I kindly reminded him that I’m not in the Military.
We eventually got to Skyping, and continued to discuss this minor issue. Apparently, it’s something that has always bothered him… After an entire year of me saying “Sure”, he finally tells me that he can’t stand it. The funny thing is, we always ask each other if there is anything we could do better for one another, and he never mentioned this tiny thing during any of those discussions.
I told him that I am more than willing to try to change things that irritate him, as long as I know about them! If I don’t know, how can I improve?
The very next day, it almost happened again. My Love asked me if he could call, and I almost said, “Sure!” but I caught myself, and replied with “Yes, I’m ready whenever you are!” To me, love is all about making small improvements for another person, or at least trying. This is something so minor that I have no problem attempting to correct it. (If he was asking me to change a defining characteristic about myself then I might have a different response.)
Moral of the Story: With my Love (or other Military personnel(?)), answer questions directly using “Yes” or “No”. “Sure” isn’t acceptable.