Article after article, post after post… most MilSO and LDR bloggers stress the importance of trust to make a long distance and/or military relationship work. In my case, it’s a double whammy -Long Distance Military Relationship…which requires double the trust!
With all the posts and articles I read, I agree that trust needs to be one of the fundamental building blocks to any successful relationship, but especially for the successful LDR that I am trying to maintain.
Although I agree, I have found that I struggle trying to give my Love the full trust that he deserves. Don’t get me wrong, he has completely earned it! Yet my mind always wanders to the worst-case-scenario. Of course, this can easily be explained by my own “daddy issues” that have plagued my past, but as I grow older, I really do strive to leave those issues in the past where the belong.
Exhibit A: My Love was invited by a friend to go to a concert in Vegas (yes, where we had just been together). My Love was completely up front with me about it and even asked if I would mind if he went…
Immediately though my mind jumped to the worst conclusion. I mean, two Sailors alone in Vegas, what could possibly go wrong?!? While visions of “On the Town” played in my head (if you are a Navy MilSO look up the musical “On the Town”) .
I expressed my concern -gently warning my Love that if his friend also wanted him to see strippers that I would be extremely upset.
Why did I even think that they would do that? I have no idea. I know my Love would never cheat on me or anything like that. Yet, I flat-out accused him of even considering it. I felt horrible. After over a year of dating he has never once expressed interest in anyone but me (as it should be). He hasn’t ever given me a reason to question his fidelity. Yet, I jumped to that conclusion so effortlessly.
In the end, my Love and his friend survived Vegas. He communicated with me as much as he could over the weekend that he was there. They enjoyed their concert, and most importantly my fears didn’t come true -so I really had nothing to worry about.
If he can go to Vegas and not seek out other women, he can go anywhere and still stay faithful to me. Even though I struggle with trust, there’s absolutely no reason for me to question his love or loyalty.
Looking back, I feel horrible for even mentioning my concern about strippers. It wasn’t fair to him. He has given me every possible reason to trust him over the past year and a half. So I absolutely do. Even more now.
Just as trust can be broken, I think it can also grow. My Love has helped me realize this. He has never once broken the trust I have for him, but he earned more over a weekend in Vegas. Just as our love has grown, so has our trust in one another.
Have you struggled with trust in your own relationships? How did you overcome it?