Deployment · Military Lifestyle · MILSO

Why I’m Secretly Dreading His Upcoming Homecoming

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My Love is coming back home very soon… And as excited as I am, I am also secretly dreading his visit.  I should rephrase that… I’m not dreading him coming home,  I’m really dreading what this trip home means.  This visit will be met with many emotions.

Truth be told, this visit will be my Love’s last trip home for quite some time.  It will be the last time I see him before we are back to a 6 hour time difference (instead of the 2 hour one we have now).  It will be the last time we have decent reception to text (or even message over WiFi).  Most importantly, it will be the last time I get to hold his hand, lay beside him in bed, or kiss his soft lips – for nearly a year.

Ultimately, this trip home means that Deployment Number 2 is a reality.

I have tried to prepare myself for Deployment Number 2 since I found out that it was going to happen, literally months ago.  I have purchased the journals I will write to him in, I have prepared care package boxes that I will send, I have picked up different items to go in the said care packages, and I have made my Deployment goals.  Yet, I feel that I have not prepared my emotions.

The first deployment was honestly a breeze.  But Deployment Number 2 is going to be 3 times as long as the first deployment we experienced.  This means 3 times the loneliness, 3 times the missing him… 3 times the emotions.

Of course, people will say, “You knew what you were getting into…”  But the reality of Deployment hits hard.  It’s no longer just this thing that we were expecting but was always months ahead.  Now, it’s actually here.

I know I’ll enjoy every moment I get to spend with my Love while he’s home, until that last goodbye.  Because the goodbyes never do get easier.

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6 thoughts on “Why I’m Secretly Dreading His Upcoming Homecoming

  1. Stay strong! I can only imagine how our first deployment is going to go. Already my husband and I are facing major challenges and we haven’t even gone to our first duty station yet! He graduates A school this week. I hope you don’t dwell on it too much. Easier said than done I’m sure, but all you can do is enjoy every moment you have together. And yes going into the Navy people expect we should know what we’re getting into but just watching my parents I don’t think any amount of preparation can prepare you for it. Deployment is going to hit hard no matter what. But it makes the times he’s home so much more special. Good luck to you both.

    Julianna💜

    Liked by 1 person

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